Eating Kosher Crow

Today, Tuesday, is another somber day of the Jewish calendar so we did not hike. However, it does not mean we spent no time pondering and thinking. With the stock market losing so many points, nearly 300 on New York and more on the other exchanges, it’s a wonder anyone has money to spend. We did mention the other day that the trend looks down. Before you know it though, it could suddenly jump up again. It is not what we would term a rational mechanism for pricing securities on a day-to-day basis—but it’s the best we have. (We must give credit to Winston Churchill for this last statement although it was in a different context.)

Anyway, our editor, in a show of no confidence in our tracking ability, purchased a ‘junior positioning’ device. We are not peeved by this…well , maybe a little, because after all we accept we don’t know everything. Of course, that is another of our attributes—an abundance of humility. Back to the gadget. This is not a full-blown GPS. We think our editor wants to change incrementally to avoid us throwing a tantrum. We are not as dumb as we look although sometimes that is questionable. The said gadget, when it eventually aligns with the stars, the moon and we think the satellites, points in the direction of the car or whichever starting point we select. We also need another device to help us remember the starting point we choose. We have to admit a certain admiration for the device but we stay with our principles and offer thanks…reluctantly.

On Monday, while descending the trail in Flagstaff, we felt it was never ending. In a fit of pique, although we are not lost, we pull out the device and take a reading. We are moving in the right direction so that is good news. We forgot to mention in all our excitement that there is another reading on the gadget. It is distance. When we measure the distance to the car, it presumes a ‘straight-line’. This information bothers us but we say nothing. We are learning to keep the upper-lip stiff. We carry on walking down and seem to be getting nowhere. We are now really peeved because the gadget reads half a mile to go. Will we ever finish? Our editor sees the frustration even though she is bringing up the rear. She catches up and begins to explain. ‘You see,’ she says, ‘the reading you have of half a mile is not accurate.’ ‘What use is this gadget to us then?’ we answer, making the point we have kept bottled inside for a time.

She explains further, ‘the gadget can only measure “as the crow flies”. Depending on the switchbacks and the terrain, the distance could easily be double the reading.’ This is exactly what we need to hear as every muscle in the body is aching and then some others, too. Fortunately, we remember the teachings of our sages and try to remain calm before answering while we continue the never-ending hike.
‘You don’t think we should give the device to the crows—they will make better use of it.’

Every story has a conclusion, some better than others…I miss seeing my editor rolling her eyes, even her red pen wasn’t that bad and oh to hear her sweet voice again. It’s gone very quiet.