We headed up the trail to a peak outside of Tempe, AZ. The gap between us widened as we climbed. Because it was a safe trail, nothing dangerous in the way of cliff edges, bears, striking points for snakes, sharks or African lions, I was not concerned with separation. As I reached a junction, I had the option to make a right to ascend to a peak or follow the left path to another peak. I decided to turn right and signal Jen from the top. Unfortunately, the signage only indicated a trail to the left.
I reached the top, took a few photographs and looked over the edge to indicate to Jen which route she should follow. Unfortunately, she was not in view. I then headed back toward the junction to meet her. Before descending, I spotted her at the junction. (See exhibit A.)
Exhibit 1. The body language was over-powering.
It was relatively easy to gauge her mood, even from above. To put it rather subtly, she was not a happy woman (52 years together, including courting, gives one an edge). I made my way down which took less than 5 minutes. My interpretation of her body movements observed earlier were, unfortunately, accurate. She was smoking, nothing to do with cigarettes.
"Will all attendees rise, the court is now in session,' the bailiff announced and continued further.
"Plaintiff (Jenni) alleges that the Defendant (Pathetic guy) broke a cardinal rule in that upon arriving at a junction on said mountain: He failed to wait for Plaintiff, or failed to indicate route selected, or failed to show due concern when parties reconnected."
"The defendant alleges he showed concern at all times for the Plaintiff; the Plaintiff was in his sight always but for thirty seconds, give or take; should the Plaintiff had made the right turn at the signage, the parties would have met; should she have turned left then the Defendant would have seen her from above and indicated for her to wait or join him."
"The Plaintiff alleges she can prove the Defendant would not have seen her for long periods should she have continued."
"The Plaintiff alleges further that the Defendant did not display both the level of humility and apology appropriate for such a dereliction of responsibility. Furthermore, she felt the Defendant had all but abandoned her, a woman of seventy, to spend a might alone on a mountain without food, water and sleeping equipment or a tent."
"The Defendant alleges that the Plaintiff was less than 90 minutes from the trailhead; he concedes that she is an old woman but that in his eyes she looks less than sixty, and is quite gorgeous. Furthermore, should anyone lose their way, it's more likely to be the Defendant who tends to wander in wonder on mountains."
"Furthermore, the Defendant feels insulted in many ways but will only offer support for this allegation using one example.
The Defendant offered to hug the Plaintiff and beg, maybe ask, for forgiveness but concede poor judgment on his part rather than malicious intent."
"The Plaintiff refused the offer of a hug. In fact, her response caused the Defendant irreparable harm for which he expects an apology. The Plaintiff, when asked about the offer of an embrace of love and forgiveness, responded, 'I would rather hug a saguaro cactus (see exhibit 2).
Exhibit 2: Rejected for a saguaro
, the ultimate prick of one's ego.
"The Defendant, when he saw the Plaintiff with her arms wrapped about the saguaro, is alleged to have remarked, "Indeed, what a prickly pair."
"The Plaintiff seeks further damages on two counts: She finds the remark disparaging in the first degree; in the alternative, there is an insinuation that her figure may be interpreted as 'pear-shaped' which she too finds insulting.
At the conclusion of the hearing, the judge found for the Plaintiff, the Defendant apologized again for his insensitivity and poor attitude and as a form of damages, the judge suggested that both the Plaintiff and Defendant take a hike...together.
Another city that doesn't waste space.
Another part of the city viewed from surrounding mountains.
Jen catches Southwest Airlines taking off from Sky Harbor Airport after refusing to wait for me while singing "I'm leaving on a jet plane, won't be back...". I knew all was well again when Jenni made her usual fabulous meal (for me, too). Beats bread and water.
Cheers,
Jenni and Jeffrey
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