Our welcome into Fiji
Fiji - December 7th or 6th. (The international dateline can really mess with one’s mind and, timepiece—21 hours ahead of S.D.)
Bula,
The greeting, the equivalent of Shalom, is the traditional salutation of Fiji. We commenced the next leg of our adventure in fine style–in the competent care of the TSA (Transport Security Administration) and the Airlines–what a combination. It's like the ol’ one-two combination from Muhammad Ali. For you youngsters, I am not referring to a modern day terr...oops. Think Cassius Clay.
It was time for us to move on down south, real south. Six weeks in San Diego with the onset of another winter looming, our editor felt the need to visit the southern hemisphere. She has a fine grasp of nature. What with the likelihood of blizzards, snow and icy rain in San Diego, we think she has a good point. Temperatures were already plummeting. Why just the other day, the thermometer failed to read above 60 degrees for the first couple of hours of the morning. Yep, time to go.
The Chinese say that every long journey begins with one small step. Wise words. In airline industry jargon, every flight commences with...a delay. The alarm bell rang loudly and people stared. The metal parts of our body were showing off again. 'Step this way, Sir,' the TSA agent commanded. 'I'm going to have to give you a body search.' Something to look forward to...
We understand this as it is part of our travel routine. 'I'm going to rub your back with the outside of my hands and then move them to the inside of your thighs. I'll repeat this 4 times,' he said very clearly. What was a person to answer? However, when he followed with, ‘we can do this privately, if you prefer’-we put the foot down. The twinkle in his eye got to us.
“We'll do this right here,” we replied. We understand 'gay rights' in the context of secular society but this was really pushing things. The thought of being alone with the fellow while he went through his frisky…um…frisking routine was a little chilling.
To keep the mind engaged, we noticed a sign and picture of smiling TSA personnel celebrating (advertising) diversity. There were all colors, sizes, shapes, races and nationalities–one happy family. All this social engineering might create much joy in some circles but we hope their purpose is not forgotten –we thought it was about ‘safe skies’. Then we remember the Israelis. They understand what’s at stake. Stop terrorism in its tracks. They ask sharply, “Tell me what you remember about your bris.” They prod, they snip away at every opportunity: “What was your bar mitzvah parsha?” Still no satisfactory answer. Then you get the full works. Short on diversity, long on common sense. You want smiley faces. Do it on your own time.
In Los Angeles, the counter personnel asked why we only had a one-way ticket into New Zealand. ‘No exit ticket and I cannot let you fly,’ she informed us. She obviously hasn't met Ellie, otherwise she wouldn't have asked such a dumb question. How could we leave Ellie indefinitely?–It's hard enough as it is for these long trips. We explained we were flying out with another airline, not returning 'home' immediately.
‘Have you your itinerary?’
‘No,’ we replied, ‘it was checked into the hold in San Diego with our baggage,’ we answered. Standoff and trouble building. ‘How about we 'fire' up the laptop and show it to you on the screen?’
‘Can you print it,’ she wanted to know. We turned to our editor, hoping that for this hiking adventure she remembered to bring the printer. Without missing a beat, she replied, ‘Silly me. I packed a fax machine instead.’
We have hardly begun our trip and she is already displaying 'attitude'. We're thinking this could be a long journey. Fortunately, we suggested sending the agent an email with the details, leaving her to print it. She agreed. We suppose we were ‘with chutzpah’ when we asked for an extra copy for our records. Good solution. We were ready for our next ‘date’ with the TSA squad.
Unfortunately, we did not get the opportunity to say farewell to many of our friends before departure. So I suppose this is it. May you all enjoy a mild winter, good health and drop us a line when (if) the feeling arises.
Channukah sameach,
Jenni and Jeffrey
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